Wednesday, November 11, 2009

 

Breaking News: National Social groups running out of acronyms!

Bismark, ND: NSOA, NSM, ANSWP, NSWP, NSALP, CNSP, NSDAP, ANP, NSF...all these groups and more are responsible in part for the recent shortage in National Socialist organization acronyms. This problem reaches far into the history of white nationalism starting with the splintering of the Klu Klux Klan. Just how many combinations and the letters KKK can you come up with?

"I wanted to start a National Socialist group and strike out against international Jewery," explained Nathan Hertz of North Dakota. "But there are no more names left. We wanted to call ourselves National Socialist Organization of America. Pretty generic and non-threatening, right? Well, some assholes in South Carolina already used 'National Socialist Order of America.' So we have to pick something else. Now it's going to be either too long or sound too much like somebody else's name."

The crunch has been felt as far away as Alaska. George Wasden made this statement:

"We've been calling ourselves the Alaskan Nazi Party for about five years. So then we decide to hold a meeting. 'Come out and support the ANP BBQ fund raiser in Fairbanks.' Next we are getting emails asking us if some guy named Rocky is going to be there. Now it's up to the 8 of us to decide on a new name after we've called ourselves the ANP for half a decade."

Some have suggested a new online tool for people wanting to start their own National Socialist group. The idea is to have people go to a webpage and hit a button labled, "name my group". The program checks against already used names or acronyms then displays a suggestion. This was a current project of the National Socialist American League of Programmers until they discovered that there was already a group called the NSALP. The project has been halted until they can select another name.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

 

Stop using other people's photos!


When creating fake blogs or attempting to bash Chris Drake, please refrain from using the photos of other people that are not Chris Drake. This slaps of amatuerism and the unprofessional. Please use this slack jawed photo of the ignorent, low IQ hill billy who goes by the name "Christopher Drake."



Monday, August 31, 2009

 

News in Brief


Bizzaro World's Hal Turner discovered to be an FBI field agent who is secretly a black nationalist. He feeds tips to his Nubian brothers on the fed's every move and receives no money for it.


John DeNugent declares Bill White is being held and protected by the Mossad. His contact at the secret Nazi Moon Base confirms this.


John Taylor Bowles assumes there will be an American government in 2012.


Town Hall meetings reveal the existence of actual white people in America. Media shocked.


Hundreds of armed American citizens attend recent Obama rally. (See above photo)





Tuesday, August 04, 2009

 

Hal Turner stops being an informant, distances himself from FBI.

Chicago, IL---Hal Turner quits being a federal informant, citing lack of support. "It's obvious that the support is no longer there," Turner said in a phone interview from prison. "I've worked hard for years. I've taken time away from my family, myself and even my friends. The so called 'FBI' has shown me zero thanks."

Turner mentioned that for him to inform and entrap people, his operating costs reached a staggering level of $4000 a month. "First you have to have a phone so you can call people. That costs $1000 a month right there. Then I had to have a $2000 computer to connect to the Internet to ask for additional money. The equipment to do my radio show that I used to draw people in was at least $4000 a month to maintain? Wait...that's $7000 a month it cost me to be an informant. $7000 a month. Maybe eight."

"Besides the money, it was the effort that no one in the FBI appreciated," Turned sighed. "I stopped at nothing to try and talk people into illegal activity. Just like while in Kingston, for example. Someone said my table should leave a diner and not pay the bill. I was like, 'for God's sake, do it!' No. Hell no. They paid the bill anyway."

"I tried to get scores of people killed by making threats on my radio show. I'd talk until I was blue in the face about how this one or that one had to die," Turner complained. "Ever try to talk someone you don't know into killing someone on the radio? Ask me. It's nearly impossible. Yet that was what I felt was my duty. Also, I'd already cashed some of the checks they'd sent me."

From this point on, Turner stated, he plans to not work with the FBI until more funding and support comes in. "I am hereby distancing myself from the so called 'F-B-I'," stated Turner. "If I ever go back to being an informant, it will be very different. I might be a fink for the Food and Drug Administration."

Thursday, June 04, 2009

 

Peruvian commando team worried that Hal Turner may give them up to authorities.



Lima, Peru: It is a well known fact that Hal Turner commands numerous commando cells all over the world. The Department of Homeland Security has not denied that Hal Turner's network of terrorists eclipses that of Al Qaeda. So far none of Turner's training camps have been uncovered nor has any member of his secret underground army ever been captured.


"Imagine an entire army of individuals just as elusive as Osama Bin Laden," said a guy who works for the government or did recently. "It's like Al Qaeda in reverse. Hal Turner is the leader and he's out in the open. His terrorist commando army can't be found anywhere. He's a far greater threat than any cave-crawling sandnigger."


"Finding Hal was easy," said the same guy, "Now they want to find his troops. So far, it's been impossible."


The main cell on the wanted list are the terrorists whom Turner claimed were responsible for the 2007 earthquake in Peru which claimed 519 lives and injured over 1300. By placing tons of TNT (homemade?) along the fault line, the terror commandos were able to shift the fault, creating a huge disaster that measuring 8.0 on the moment magnitude scale. This act of mass murder was in response to youths from Peru killing blacks in America. Yeah, I know, Hal threatens to kill blacks himself all the time.


"We are sure the Turner Terrorist Network is still operating in our area," said a Peruvian official on Thursday. "Now that the American government has finally captured their leader, he must be forced to reveal their names and locations around Peru! If no information is given within 48 hours, we demand that the American government hand over Hal Turner to us at once!"


The UN Security Council will be meeting soon. We're pretty sure this is what they'll be talking about.


"We can't expect Turner to get a fair trial," said a local New Jersey Turner supporter. "He's not Hitler. Hal only killed a little more than five hundred people in Peru, four or five Mexicans who invaded his condo and a handful of blacks he shot during hurricane Katrina. That's not even close to what Stalin did and nobody even bothered to put him on trial since he was married to a Jew."



Thursday, October 16, 2008

 

Gomez to be part of grandjury investigation.


Roanoke, Virginia--Gomez Memdez has been selected by the Department of Justice to testify in a grand jury investigation into suspected illegal activity concerning Bill White and the American National Socialist Workers Party (ANSWP). Along with a rogue's gallery of the mentally unstable, drug addicted and vendictive, Gomez Memdez has offered his testimony in exchange for "some moanie and maybe not to have to go to prison again for a while."
"He's the most reliable whitness we have," stated a federal official who requested to remain annoymous. "Have you seen the guys they hauled in so far? If Gomez can't tell us anything, then we might as well give up."
"I tell them that Beel is such an asshole," said Gomez, a former employee of White Homes and Land, LLC. "I tells them that Beel one time pulled out a wad of moanie and my brudder says, 'where did you get so much money, Beel? Did you rob a bank?' Beel didn't say nothing. That is when we knew he did rob a bank. There must have been over eight hundred dollars there. Den one day I seen Beel coming out of a bank. That might have bean the day he robbed it."
When questioned about his Mexican bank accounts, Gomez had this to say, "I doan know. I told him where Mexico was one time because you know, I bean there cause that is where I am from. So I think I heard him says something like, 'maybe I'll go down there and hide some money in a tree or something.' I am pretty sure that's what he says but you know, my English is not that good. I feel bad like its my fault or someting since I am the one who tells him where Mexico is in the first place."

 

Doctors to place Mike Blevins (Vonbluvens) on assisted breathing.


Sarasota, Florida: Doctors working with Dr. Joshua Bendits, director of respiratory services for the University of Montana, have placed Mike Blevins on non-invasive assisted breathing following a near death experience suffered by Mr. Blevins.
"He's just too lazy to breathe," stated Dr. Bendits, "I've never seen anything like it. It's like he just gets sick of it and gives up. His lungs are fine and in fact, he is a completely able bodied individual. He's healthy as an ox."
Blevins' doctors elected to place Mike on a non-invasive system in case he feels like breathing on his own sometime soon. A wheelchair was also provided via Medicaid after Blevins complained of having drag the heavy device with him whenever he "needed to go for a smoke."
"I've been doing this for years," Mike Blevins said in a phone interview, "I feel like its been forever. All day, its air in, air out. What thanks do I get? Have I ever got a dime for any of this? No! Instead its 'Von, you're breath stinks' or 'sir would you like a mint?' I tried taking shallow breaths but things kept coming up that made me take entire gulps of air. I would take a drag off a cig and think, 'Von, this is the most thankless thing you have ever done. 40+ years and not even so much as a pat on the back.'"
Von's comrades all agree that his truly thankless act of breathing on his own has gone largely un-noticed by the entire white nationalists movement.
"Von gets no credit for anything he does," voiced one supporter, "I know the guy. He even breathes in his sleep! And talking on the radio? That requires using your lungs too! Words just don't appear on a WMA file. Somebody has to put them there! What about that asshole Dr. Stephen Hawkings, huh? That asshole sits there and just has to move his little finger to make words. Von does it the old fashion way and there isn't a soul there to help him with it!"
Normally reserved for patients with neuromuscular diseases, the device has been well tested and should keep Blevins alive for years. It came none too soon for the Blevins family as Von stated that they had all suffered enough having to administer CPR when Von would get fed up with everything and start turning blue in the face.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

 

Overblown to start churning out important news once again!


Overblown is back! The publishers of this fine blog (Chris Drake) had almost forgot about it! Once I get things sorted out in my alcohol adled brain, I'll be posting on this blog regular adventures of all the heros on goofs I know (and some I made up).

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